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9:28 p.m. - 2018-06-23
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, Saint Francis and God,
I am alive in this earth. For some reason you put me here to do something and the only thing I know I am good and capable at is loving your creatures. In reading through a prayer of thanks, I thank you for putting me here to do just that. Tonight I say thank you for the breaths I have so I can love and take care of your creatures. But I need help; I cannot do this alone. Please help me understand Blacky and understand how to help her. Please help me be good to her and be a wonderful mother to her and Mama. Help me understand what to do to get her better. Seeing her sleep all the time and not play makes me so sad. Please, help and work through me to care for her. Please help the medicine work to fix her anemia and please I pray she doesn’t have any underlying problems that are fatal. I pray she is happy and healthy and that you surround her in love. I pray she is getting better each day. Please, be with her. Please grant us a miracle and help her heal. We are looking to all of you for help and guidance. We have faith in you. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our hearts and hope and faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

11:03 p.m. - 2018-06-22
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
My head is blank and my body is crumbling. This week has been trying, and I’m doing my best to keep it together but boy is it trying. I think I feel defeated because I can’t see progress in Blacky. The days she goes under the bed or scurries away from us are making me think she doesn’t feel good. The meowing is new for her too. But she might be meowing so I know she wants to go downstairs or wants snacks. The unknown is the part that is getting to me. I pray with all my heart she is feeling okay and that the medicine is helping her body heal. I pray she is getting the help she needs and that whatever was and is causing the anemia is getting better. I pray she is getting healthier and that she and mama are both healthy and happy. I’m praying for the strength to know what to do and how to care for these ladies too. Please be with us and please watch over our little ladies. We need your swarming love. <3<3<3xoxoxo we love you.

With our faith and full hearts,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

10:28 p.m. - 2018-06-21
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Today, there was a deer hit on route 9 just laying there so helpless. It ripped me apart inside. How could anyone hit an animal and keep driving? How could traffic keep going and how could anyone not be bothered or feel the guilt? Why does the world not seem to care about your beautiful creatures God and their lives? Everything seems so cruel and I hate all death of your beautiful creations. Please welcome that deer into the kingdom and give him or her a beautiful life of happiness and love. Goodnight little deer.

That is a scarring image to see. It made me miss our little kitties so much and appreciate that we have them here and now. Pleasebless our little ladies andplease please help Blacky get better. I pray with my whole being that she champions above what is hurting her inside. I pray it isn’t cancer and I pray that her body self heals and fends off whatever this is and I pray with all my might that this isn’t fatal. Please help her show progress. We love her. And Mama. And we need you by our sides. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With our whole heart and all our faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

11:04 p.m. - 2018-06-20
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Thank you for today. Though it was hectic, I was able to get Blacky her medicine, get home at lunch and still make the dentist, take the conference call, and somehow make this all work out. Thank you for helping me figure it all out, and thank you for helping the kitties to be so patient and sweet. Please help Blacky to show improvement. Please help her get better from the inside out so she can be happy and healthy. I pray that she doesn’t have an underlying problem causing the anemia and that she is gradually getting better. Please be with her and Mama and continue to watch over them, swarming them with your love.
We love you very much. Thank you for being with us every day. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love, faith and hearts,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

10:23 p.m. - 2018-06-19
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy and Saint Francis,
Thank you for today. Thank you for getting me to and from work safely all times. Thank you for looking after Mama and Blacky today, too. They appreciate all the love and support you have shown them. Thank you for the moment tonight when Blacky walked down the basement stairs again. She hasn't done that in some time, and it was nice to see her come down with us and take a nap for a bit. Please continue to give us a few of these moments with each day, and please help this medicine help her get better. She needs the help, and we pray she gets better. Please help her feel more like her old self before all of this began. We love and accept her however she is; I guess what I'm asking is that she is happy and content and healthy.

We love you and have all of our faith in you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love, faith and hearts,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

10:51 p.m. - 2018-06-18
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy and Saint Francis,
Thank you for the moment tonight where Blacky jumped into the windowsill all on her own. Though brief, it brought so much happiness to my heart. She hasn’t done that since before everything started in November. This was a sign of hope. Thank you from the bottom of my heart.
Thank you for the help from their Nana too. She was wonderful to come over and take care of these ladies today. Thank you.
Thank you for letting today be a good day.
Please continue to watch over Blacky and Mama and keep them safe. Please help them love one another. Please help the medicine help Blacky to get better and be more like her old playful self.
We love you and have all our faith in you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and heart,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

5:14 p.m. - 2018-06-17
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Dear God,
I have to believe that what we are doing for Blacky is the right thing. I have to believe that the steroid dosage is right and that this is going to work to help her feel better. I look at her and she seems to tired and lethargic all the time now. But this is what the doctor wants us to do right? Is this the correct path? We are at the mercy of the experts to tell us what to do and have to hope they are right. I am trusting in you to watch over my little baby and to keep her safe from harm. I pray she gets better, please, she has to. I pray she is recovering and that whatever is happening inside of her is able to get better with this medicine, and that she doesn't have to be on this high of a dose forever. I pray she can return to being her playful self and that she will return to being our little Bebu. Please, watch over her and shower her with your love. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With our faith and love,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

11:10 a.m. - 2018-06-17
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Time is short and precious. I can’t stop thinking how much I love our little Bebu, and every day I don’t know how much time we have left with her. I’m sitting here trying to clean the bathroom and take a shower like life is moving on as normal and that somehow it’s okay to do normal things, but I feel anything but normal. I’m worried that she will want to be under that bed forever. I’m worried that I don’t know what kind of time we do have or that I’m not doing enough to help her. Please help our little Blacky feel better and get better. Please swarm her with your love and take care of her. Please be with her when she doesn’t feel good and please, please love her and help her understand how much I love her too. We love her and we love you and have put all of our blind faith in you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With our whole hearts,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

10:05 p.m. - 2018-06-16
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Today has been a real mixed bag. Blacky went into hiding randomly today after breakfast and her pills. We don’t know why. She seemed scared of something. She came out later and she’s sitting behind the couch now. Those moments scare me. I cried tonight talking to her. We don’t know what is wrong still. I love Blacky and Mama. They are my world with Jeff. Every moment together is the best. I can’t bear to think that a Halloween will pass and our Blacky won’t be able to sit in the window, or that worse she won’t be here with us. I love her with all of my heart and Mama too. Please, please I pray with all I have in me that she gets better and that whatever is hurting her goes away so she can live a full and happy life. Please help her get stronger with each day, and please help her feel happy inside. Please help me understand how to help her and how to be a good mother to her. We need your help and we need you to intervene and help her get better despite what anyone else tells us.
I’ll sleep on the floor every night. I’ll quit my job. I’ll never leave the house again if it means we can help get her healthy and happy again. Please watch over her and protect her from harm.
We are praying to you with all our faith. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Blacky, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

10:02 p.m. - 2018-06-15
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy and Saint Francis,
Thank you for today. It was peaceful being at work and not worrying about the vet calling for once. That’s not to say I don’t slways worry about Blacky, but at least today was a lesser worry. I am praying she is getting better and whatever is causing all of this to happen is able to self correct and go away. We still don’t know the underlying problem with her, however I am hoping that it isn’t cancer and is not life threatening. We desperately need this all to get better. I pray she continues to eat her medicine and sleep comfortably; I pray she starts to feel good inside and be playful. I pray she gets healthier and most importantly, knows how much she is loved.
We love you and have so much faith in you. Thank you for being with us. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

9:59 p.m. - 2018-06-14
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for today. Blacky took her medications, the vet called to say the anemia was moving in a better direction, and to me, that is a good day. Thank you for listening to our prayers. We needed your help and you were there for us. Thank you from the bottom of our hearts.
Please continue to watch over Blacky and keep her safe. I pray the medications help her get better, and that somehow this thing that is hurting her goes away and she makes a fully recovery. We love her so very much. We love you all and miss you all today. <3<3<3xoxoxo thank you for a positive day.
With all our love and faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

10:14 p.m. - 2018-06-13
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, Scruffy and Saint Francis,
Thank you for today. Blacky had a nice day at home with Jeff. She took her medications and she’s been sleeping on the rug since dinner time. That makes me so happy, being able to look over the couch and see her snoozing away. She’s a sweet kitty. Thank you for the precious moments. Thank you for Mama, and how much love she shows us. I love waking up and seeing her sleeping right up against me, or watching her run to me for pets and kisses. We are a blessed family to have these ladies with us.

The vet did not call today. That worries me a bit since we were supposed to hear back, but not knowing made tonight a bit better after I realized she wasn’t calling. I suspect we will get a call tomorrow. Please, I pray, for good news tomorrow when she calls. I pray the medicine is helping and that her anemia is getting better. I pray her body has stopped attacking it’s red blood cells and that Blacky is feeling better inside and out. Please, please watch over her and keep her safe and healthy. Please let her be getting better and please bless her and deliver us good news from the vet.

We love you so much and have our faith in you all. <3<3<3 thank you for being with us.

All our love and faith, with all our hearts,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

11:20 p.m. - 2018-06-11
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Please be with us. Blacky goes back tomorrow for her recheck on the anemia to see if the steroids are helping. Tonight I pray the appointment goes well, that we get there without a problem, and that the results show improvement. I’ve been trying to be a better person to help Blacky recover. It’s been tough at times making this all come together but for every moment I am with her she is worth everything. Please bless her and keep her safe. Please help the medicine work and please help her to get better. Please bring us good news. We need some divine intervention and I come before you asking for a miracle. <3<3<3xoxoxo we love you and have faith.
With a heavy heart, shaking hands and strong faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo, and Kristinxo

10:33 p.m. - 2018-06-10
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Today was a bit difficult. Blacky was under the nightstand in the corner again for a bit, and I don’t know why. She didn’t seem too well. She took her medications these past two days, so I’m haooy about that. Really hoping, praying to you, that these medications are helping her get better. Please, grant us this miracle. We are looking faithfully to you to intervene and provide divine intervention to help her recover and to help her anemia get better. Please be with her, surround her with your forcefield, and please help her recover. Please give us good news on Tuesday when she has to go back and please let it go well. I’ll give pills and medication for the rest of my life if it means she gets to get better and enjoy her time with us. We ask this of you tonight.
We love you, and miss you here on earth. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With a heavy heart and tremendous faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

7:13 p.m. - 2018-06-09
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Dear Lucky Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Please be with our family. Blacky is not doing so great, and the anemia got worse. The vet called last night to let us know she’s changing the dosage of medicine and adding another one. Please, I pray this helps Blacky to get better. Please help her heal and please help her immune system stop attacking itself. Please help her to take her medicine successfully and please guide me through the process to be the best mother to her as possible. Please, I pray for a speedy recovery and that we see improvements. She and Mama mean the world to us. Please help her get better soon. I love you, and have faith that you hear my prayers. Please grant us a miracle and divine intervention. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With a heavy, worried heart, and lots of faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

8:48 p.m. - 2018-06-08
Please help
Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy and Saint Francis,
I feel dead inside. The doctor said her anemia is not getting better. We have to increase the dosage of steroids to help it, but it has gotten worse. Blacky has been quiet today and relatively antisocial. She is barely eating enough and drinking enough. Please, please watch over her and help her get back on her feet. Please swarm her, shower her in your love and care. Please help her get better.
With the heaviest of hearts and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

2:00 p.m. - 2018-06-08
Please help Blacky
Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Today has been challenging. The vet has not called us back yet with the lab results and that worries me because if the results were good, wouldn't she have told us this news? I feel like the waiting means she needs someone to give another opinion and talk to other people to deliver bad news. Please don't let this be the case. Please please help us. Please don't let the results be bad. Please let Blacky be showing improvement and getting better. Please don't let this be cancerous or fatal. Please, please grant us a miracle. Blacky has been under the bed the whole day, too. I'm so worried she isn't feeling well and doesn't want to be around us. What are we supposed to do? I feel helpless and like a terrible parent for not knowing what to do, and am coming before you to seek the help to know what to do to be a good parent. This little family could really use some divine intervention to save Blacky and help her get better.
Please be with us. <3<3<3xoxoxo we love you and miss you being here with us to guide us through these sorts of things.

Love always,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

10:10 p.m. - 2018-06-07
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Today was a tough day to get through. Blacky was so comfortable all day, and so good. Taking her to the vet is always a hard thing to do because she retracts and hides. But we know it’s for the best. She had to give another sample today to see if the steroids are working to help her. The other test for infectious diseases came back negative. That is an unsettling feeling. I am glad she doesn’t have an incurable infection, but there were a number of those infections that are fixed with antibiotics. So I feel pretty sad in a way. That doesn’t leave many options besides cancer. Please, I pray, whatever is hurting Blacky and causing this reaction, is not cancerous and is treatable. Please don’t let this be fatal, and please help the medicines to help her. We could use your help with a miracle. Please grant us a miracle and please help Blacky tonget better. Please let the test results from the blood come back good tomorrow. I pray her anemia is showing progress of getting better. Please grant us a miracle. You are our hope and light.
We love you and have put all of our faith in you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With a heavy heart and a lot of faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

11:18 a.m. - 2018-06-07
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Please be with us and Blacky today. Please be near her and in her heart. Please let us get good news, please don't let this be cancer, and please please don't let any of this be fatal. I'll give her all the medicine she needs to get better and to make a full recovery, but please don't let this be fatal. We have all of our faith in you to please grant us this miracle. Everyone at Tufts keeps telling us that we have a few months left with her if we are lucky. Please don't let that be so. Please grant us years of happy life with her. Please grant us a miracle.
Lucky, I am wearing the sweatshirt I wore with you all the time to sleep next to you and hug you. It makes me feel closer to you when I wear it; it still has not been washed since that day many years ago. I wear it and hope that you will be with us today as we go back to the vet, and wish us as we await the results of the bloodwork. Please, Lucky, please help. We watched you overcome so many obstacles against all odds; you are our little miracle pup. Please stand by Blacky now and help her make a full recovery. <3<3<3
We love you and are putting our full faith in you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love and faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

5:01 p.m. - 2018-06-06
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
How do I know if I am praying enough? I have these doubts that I haven't said enough prayers throughout the day for Blacky, and that's why she isn't eating her pill today. Is that irrational? Is there something else I should be doing? Something extra? I'll do whatever it takes to help her, but I could really use some guidance on how to be a good pet mom right now. I'm having a hard time taking care of her and don't know where else to turn.
I feel so helpless and lost right now. I'm sure she does, too. Please be with this family and watch over Blacky. Please help her to get better and take her medicine; please don't let this be cancer or anything fatal.
We are so worried about her. Please grant us a miracle.
We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With a heavy heart, all of our faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo, Kristinxo

9:17 p.m. - 2018-06-05
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
The days now are long and worrisome. Blacky doesn't appear to be making much progress and that scares me. The vet did not call today, and in some way, it gives me comfort not hearing her words. Certainly I want to be able to know what to do to make Blacky comfortable, but today I needed a moment to be able to enjoy her as she is. Tonight, as all nights go, I ask for a miracle to save her and to help her be healthy and live a long life on earth for years to come. I pray that against all odds, what is causing her these problems are not fatal and she can make a full recovery. It is scary and taking a leap of faith can be hard, but I truly don't have anything left in me but faith. I pray often now to offer her help; and I pray with all my heart. As I go through these prayers, I find myself finding faith all over again.
Saint Francis, you and I are not so different in how much we love God's creatures. I was thinking that today while saying your prayer. You love Him through his creatures and that is how I feel. That is exactly how I feel about these two kitties and all the pets in our life, and right now especially about Blacky. I live to love them. I appreciate all of the wonder that exists in them, and I want nothing more than to live my life with them for many years to come. Please, Saint Francis, help Blacky recover and make a full recovery. Please help her get better and please, please don't let this be fatal. Loving animals is what I do best, and I see God in them every day. They teach me to love, especially Blacky and Mama, much like those days with you Lucky were like. Each moment is a gift and you all helped me see that, and these kitties help me live the life of someone who lives in faith, in wonder and awe of the world.
I have seen all of you pull through for us before, so tonight, I am here before you asking for your help. Please, protect Blacky and help her recover. Please give her the strength to overcome what is hurting her body, and please, please let her live with us on earth for many years to come. Please don't let her have cancer and please, don't let this be fatal.
We love you and are putting our faith filled hearts in your hands. We need a miracle. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our hearts and faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo, and Kristinxo

9:10 p.m. - 2018-06-04
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Dear Lucky, Funstufd, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for helping us get thriugh today. I am confident together we can help Blacky enjoy each day. Frlm the bottom of my heart i want to thank you for being there to listen to me today, and to help guide me to wake up and somehow get through. Please be with Blacky. Please help get be energized and playful, please help her take all her medicine, and please, plewse let her be okay. I pray every day for a miracle to let her be okay and to give her the chance to live a long and healthy life. She needs you by her side. Please let her know she is loved, and that we are all doing everything we can to help get her better. Please dont let this be fatal. Please dont let her go yet. We are asking you to please grant us a miracle and let whatever is harming her on the inside, go away and be cured. Please let her stay on this earth and live with us happily.
We love you and have put our trust and faith in you, undyingly so. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With a scared and heavy heart, driven by faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

9:19 p.m. - 2018-06-03
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
I'm sitting here feeling helpless. Blacky came out for a bit today in the afternoon, and it was a happy feeling seeing her out. But now she is back to being in the cabinet, and I don't know how to feel. I'm hanging onto any kind of hope, any shred of hope that tomorrow's phone call isn't going to be that she has cancer or something fatal. I feel helpless and confused. I feel like all I can do is rely on you all and faith in God and his angels to help her get better and to please, let her be okay. Please, please let her be okay. Please let there be some kind of cure for whatever is bothering her so much. I'm so worried. I pray to know what to do to help her and for the wisdom to know how to give her all the medicine she needs so she gets it all. I pray for so much help. And I know there are lots of people out there who need you too. Tonight i pray you please hear us and help Blacky get better and please let her stay on earth. Please don't take her up there. Not yet. We are asking you to please grant us a miracle and please please please be with her. Please watch over her every moment and help her feel awake, lively and happy. Please help her eat and drink and take her medicine. Please, with every piece of my heart, I ask you grant us a miracle and help her get better, and please don't let this be fatal. We have nothing but our faith in you left. We are clinging to every shred of hope we can. Please be with her tonight, and tomorrow when they call with more information. God please hear our prayer.
We love you and need you to watch over Blacky. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With such sadness and faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

8:06 p.m. - 2018-06-02
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Day two of watching Blacky have trouble is proving to be hard. She has spent most of the day sleeping in the kitchen cabinets, and doesn’t seem to want to come out much. Please help us help her and give her the medicine the doctor prescribed, and please help her take it all and help me know how to get her to do so. I pray for any miracles you have to let her me okay and for this not to be fatal. We love her and are not ready to let her go. I pray you please give her the strength to beat what’s causing her this pain. And I pray we have more time. Please be with little Blacky and keep her by your side. Please walk beside her and help her get up, eat, drink, walk and get better. Please be with her. Please grant us a miracle and let her be curable. I know this is a lot to ask, but we are so despaired. Please please help.
We love you and have faith and hope. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With the heavy hearts and with all our faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

10:12 p.m. - 2018-06-01
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Please be with Blacky. The outcome is not good for her. We are almost sure that she has cancer and/or a bad infection. None of the. Have a good outcome.
Can you please work a miracle and help her by a miracle not have any of this and whatever is bothering her and her system can be treated and recovered from? I pray so much that everyone is wrong and that she will be okay. Please. Please let her be okay.
With the heaviest heart and so much love,
Kristinxo, Blackyxo and Mamaxo

3:09 p.m. - 2018-05-31
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Took Blacky to the vet today. Things are not looking good and I'm scared, so scared. Her blood work came back saying she has elevated white blood cell counts and anemia again and some other troubles. We have to take her back for an ultrasound tomorrow because they don't think we should wait much longer. I'm so scared that something is wrong. Please I will do anything to make this right and to help her get better. Whatever is going on, please let it be treatable. Please please help us get her better. Please don't let this be fatal.
We desperately need your love and care right now to get Blacky better. Please please please be with her and help her recover.
We love you and are putting all of our faith in you.
With a heavy heart,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

11:24 p.m. - 2018-05-29
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Please keep a close watch on Blacky. One more day until the appointment and I’m hoping she is okay. It’s been a really tough road with her but I know we can get through it. My head is in a fog today I can’t focus and I seem to be pissing everyone off. And my head hurts. I’m a wreck today.
Please god help me.
We love you and have faith. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love,
Blackyxo, Kristinxo and Mamaxo

10:42 p.m. - 2018-05-28
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Today was foggy. Spent some time outside clipping the bushes and cleaning up the yard which was nice. But the rest of the day was a haze. Blacky threw up a little again which is worrisome. I’m constsntly worried about her and I pray she gets better. Please help her be healthy and have nothing wrong. Even if she has a lifelong head tilt, it’s alright as long as she doesn’t have any problems. Please be with her. And please help she and mama to be civil to one another.
We love you and have faith. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With our undying faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and kristinxo

10:51 p.m. - 2018-05-27
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Blacky keeps closing her eye. I hope she’s going to be okay and that this is just another swatting issue. Poor lady. She’s been doing a little better. Please help her get better. This week is the appointment to se how she’s doing. It’s going to be a long rough week and I think I dread this more than her. Please take care of these ladies and please watch over them. We love them so much and need them healthy. They are my whole life. Please help Blacky gain some weight and find her playful, confident side again.
We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love and faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

10:53 p.m. - 2018-05-26
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Today we didn’t do much besides watch a show all day. I cleaned my car but that was about it. It was surprisingly nice to be home and do absolutely nothing. There are some days when I need that. Spent some time today thinking about my life and all the stupid things I’ve done. I’m sorry for being stupid many times over.

Please continue to watch over Blacky and Mama. It made me happy to see Blacky get up and walk around today, eat solid food. Please continue to help her get better and please, please help me know how to help her. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

11:41 p.m. - 2018-05-25
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for an okay week. I’m still worried about Blacky, and I pray she gets more energy and starts to feel better. She seems like she doesn’t want to play as much still. This is all she’s to digest and I hope she gets better and is okay. I am happy Mama is chipper and running around. <3
My body feels like it needs a whole day to sleep. Everything feels off. Even my emotions.

I love you all. Please watch over us. <3<3<3xoxoxo please keep us safe.

We love you with all our hearts,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

9:52 p.m. - 2018-05-24
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Hello. Please continue to watch over Mama and Blacky. Please keep Blacky healthy and safe. Please help her regain her weight and playfulness. Please bless all the creatures of the world and keep them protected and safe. <3<3<3xoxoxo
We love you.
All our faith and love,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

9:34 p.m. - 2018-05-23
Happy Birthday, Nana
Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Happy BIrthday, Nana! It seems like not so long ago that you were here with us. How come we didn't have birthday parties for you? Looking back, I feel so selfish and like I didn't spend enough time getting to know you or celebrate you. We also didn't give back to you, what you gave to us. Even more so now, I am worried that I am alive, and not living in the world. I don't feel present or cognisant of what is happening because I'm buried alive in a screen of some sort on a computer or my phone. I see pictures I've taken, and can't recall the memory of that moment that I felt compelled to photograph. I can't close my eyes and see things the way I used to anymore; I don't feel alive.
Sorry to be morbid. The point is, I'm sorry Nana, and really all of you, that I didn't give to you all I could on your time on this earth. You are all so deserving and truly, I apologize.

I hope you have a wonderful birthday, Nana. When we meet again in Heaven, I look forward to giving you one big hug again.

Please watch over Blacky and keep her healthy. I do worry that she isn't as active as we would like her to be, and she is still skinny. Please help us help her, and please please let her be okay. I pray that Mama is healthy and happy. Most importantly, I pray these ladies know how much they are loved, through and through. <3<3<3xoxoxo we love you.

With our undying faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

10:07 p.m. - 2018-05-22
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
For all of the little creatures I keep seeing who have lost their lives to reckless drivers, I pray for their souls that they may find peace in heaven with you all. I keep seeing it more frequently it seems, and I pray this stops.
I pray that Blacky finds her strength and motivation to get up and play or move some more. It’s breaking our hearts to see her so down. This has been a hard few weeks, and I pray for some things to start going well. Please let Blacky and Mama be healthy, safe and loved cats. We love you and put our faith in you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With a heavy heart,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

10:16 p.m. - 2018-05-21
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Starting to feel a little under the weather. I’m sure it’s fine but it’s a bit off over here.
I’m going to be worried all day tomorrow about Blacky being home alone. Please watch over her and keep her safe and healthy. I pray she is happy and feels loved. Please please watch over them. I worry so much. :(
We love you and are putting our full faith into you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

10:53 p.m. - 2018-05-20
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
I have a feeling that something is wrong. That sinking feeling when you know you’re going to get bad news and I’m afraid it’s coming. Please let Blacky be healthy and happy. I pray she’s doing okay and that she gets back up on her feet. I pray she starts to gain weight, I pray she plays and I pray she’s happy. Please bless her and watch over her. Please help Mama, too. I pray she is healthy and happy. Most of all, I pray they know how much we love them. Please bless and watch over them. We need you. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

11:05 p.m. - 2018-05-19
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Please watch over Blacky and help her get better. She’s been so down and quiet lately I worry. Please please take care of her. Please help her recover and please, I pray, she is okay and healthy.
We love you and have faith. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With our undying faith and love,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

10:16 p.m. - 2018-05-18
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Please watch over this little family. Please help Blacky feel strong and please let her be healthy. I pray she runs around and plays again. I pray she is happy and adventurous. I pray she knows she’s loved. Please watch over her and Mama with all your love and care. We love you and needyou. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With a worried heart,
Kristinxo, Blackyxo and Mamaxo

10:46 p.m. - 2018-05-17
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Please watch over Blacky. She seems quiet and reserved lately. I’m worried about her health. She has an appointment scheduled for two weeks out, I’m just worried about her. Please let her be okay and healthy. Please help her eat more and play more. Maybe sleep near us and want to be near us in general. Most of all I pray she knows how loved she is. I’m so worried.
We love you and have faith. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With a worried heart,
Mamaxo, Kristinxo and Blackyxo

10:38 p.m. - 2018-05-16
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Today was the BackPackAThon. I got to be on the Division 1 team as well as a team in the afternoon. It was a lot of fun and such a blessing to be able to help out.

However it seems that when one area is going well, things at home seem rocky. I’m worried about Blacky, as she’s seemed antisocial and not hungry or playful. I don’t get it. This is like a whole different cat and I’m worried she isn’t happy or healthy. Please please guide me and tell me what to do. Please let her be okay and healthy. We adore her and she needs a little extra help from you all.

We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With a worried heart,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and kristinxo

11:00 p.m. - 2018-05-15
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
I worry a bit about the kitties. Blacky has seemed extra quiet and reserved. I pray she is healthy and happy, and that you please help me understand how to help her and make her happy. Please help her to feel energized and ready to play. I miss seeing her chase the laser. :(

I pray for a brighter tomorrow. Please bless all the animals and our whole family. We love you and have faith. Lots of it. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love, patience and hope,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

9:55 p.m. - 2018-05-14
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Things with the family are still to be determined. Christian and Bentley are still with Chris and visit less now. Riley seems to be happy with Mommy and Daddy. There’s no timeline indicating how long we get to keep them. I worry about everyone.
I worry too about the kitties, as usual. I’m worried they aren’t having enough fun or playtime. I miss watching Blacky run around and play. Please help me understand her and help her socialize. Please help her keep eating the dry food and gain some weight. And I pray she’s healthy. This is all complicated. Please watch over us. We love you very much. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

10:52 p.m. - 2018-05-13
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
I’ve been a crank today and yesterday. Honestly I think I’ve been around people too much and I’m frustrated. I’m also frustrated with my life a bit.
Mother’s Day was okay. Got to see mommy for a bit and talk to her and daddy. I’m hapoy to have spent the time with them. It was nice seeing the boys and Riley too.
Please help me get my life together. Please watch over Mama and Blacky and help them to be healthy and safe.
We love you and have faith. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and hugs,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

10:48 p.m. - 2018-05-12
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Today was kind of weird. I was cranky. And I didn’t want to go out anywhere or do anything. I’m feeling extra anxious and introverted lately. I’m feeling a real need to be away from work and people for a while except for Jeff and the kitties. What’s going on with me?

Please help Blacky and Mamaxo be happy. Please watch over them and let them know how much I love them and their company.
We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

9:48 p.m. - 2018-05-11
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Oh man. My body is shutting down and trying to sleep. It’s been trying to do that all week. It’s going to feel so nice to sleep in and catch up. It’s interesting that I haven’t gotten sick at all this year with all the sicknesses going around.
Thank you for the nice week. Please help this little family have a nice weekend and spend some time bonding. Please keep mama and Blacky happy and healthy. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo, and Kristinxo

10:12 p.m. - 2018-05-10
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for watching over us. Please continue to watch over Mama and Blacky and keep them healthy. Please watch over Lilla, too. I pray Kelly doesn’t try and take her to connecticut. Please help me be free and simple so I can spend more time living in the present.
We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
Sleep tightly.
All our love and hugs and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

10:59 p.m. - 2018-05-09
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thanks for a nice day. I’m glad everyone is home and things are back to normal. I’m happy to have that normal lifestyle back. I pray that Mama and Blacky receive your blessing, and that they are healthy and happy. Tonight I also pray that Lilla is healthy and happy, as well as Riley. Time is short. I’m reminded of that more now, and I pray time slows down, or maybe that I stop to smell the roses and hear the leaves crunch below my feet more often. I love you, we love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo, and Kristinxo

12:51 a.m. - 2018-05-09
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Finally home and things can revert to normal. Thank you for getting us to and from the airport safely and thank you for guiding me there (with a few wrong turns along the way).
So why do I still feel like a big disappointment ?

Going to get some sleep. Please keep the kitties safe and healthy. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

11:37 p.m. - 2018-05-07
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
He comes home tomorrow! Less than 24 hours jeff will be back and I’m going to be so happy. Thank you! Please get us through the night and tomorrow safely, and we will be so happy.
Please protect and bless mama and Blacky. Please keep them safe and healthy. Please keep them active and happy as well as content. They are such a blessing to this family. Please also keep Jeff safe in his travels here. We love you so much. <3<3<3xoxoxo

With all our faith and love,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

11:26 p.m. - 2018-05-06
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for keeping Jeff safe. I was so worried last night. The feeling of him being lost, alone or unsafe was one of the scariest and saddest moments of my life. I realize how much I love him, and how I don’t tell him often enough. We are both two strange people on this planet and I’m so happy we found each other.
Please keep watching over Mama and Blacky. Please keep them safe and healthy. Please watch over Jeff tomorrow, too, on his journey. I can’t wait for us all to be together again. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

11:11 p.m. - 2018-05-05
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
I’m getting worried aboutnjeff. I haven’t heard from him in 7 hours and I’m so worried something happened. Please please please make him get in touch with me. This is terrible.
With a worried heart,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

8:45 p.m. - 2018-05-04
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Feeling lost with no direction right now. I don’t have a good reason to feel lost. I suppose I’m quite sad instead. Jeff and I have never been apart but he’s leaving for costa Rica in a few hours. It’s hitting me right this minute and making me think of so many happy memories we have. I know it’s only 4 days, but the thought of being apart is breaking my heart. I’d really like to sit home and do nothing and be sad the next few days. And I just know how hard that will be. I also wish that I knew if Blacky af Mamawere healthy. I worry sometimes that Blacky is too skinny. Mama threw up twice last week. Could have been too much catnip but I don’t know. I’m afraid of being alone here.

Please bring peace and happiness to this home. Please bring health and comfort.

We love you so much. Please keep him safe on his travels. <3<3<3xoxoxo
Love,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

11:42 p.m. - 2018-05-03
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
After talking to mommy tonight, things still seem up in the air with Robyn. I trust nothing. I worry about the future of these kids. I worry about her cat. I worry about everything. Frankly I need time to figure out my own plan, as a sibling and aunt, on what to do. This whole thing is a mess and I’m terrified of what is to come. I pray that you please continue to watch over these kitties. Please keep Blacky and Mama safe and healthy, and please keep them happy. We could use your love. And if you find some spare time, please help me lead a simple, happy life.
We love you and have faith. <3<3<3xoxoxo
Our love and faith always,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

9:22 p.m. - 2018-05-02
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
While walking today, lots of things came to mind. I was noticing how peaceful the nature trail is at work. There was an abundance of leaves, the fresh air, muted sounds, and the rustle of little creatures all around. It was wonderful and I enjoyed listening to them. So it got me wondering: why is it that I crave the peace and tranquility of nature with the feeling of being alone, but I also desperately feel the need to be connected? What is that? Where does that come from? I was wondering too if animals like their lives? Are they happy with the quietness, not knowing what’s happening around the world? Do they always live in fear of predators?

Please watch over our kitties and keep them safe. Please bless Blacky and help her to be more active and playful. I worry. Please let us, together, lead simple lives. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo

With all our love and faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

9:20 p.m. - 2018-05-01
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Still worried about Blacky. She hasn’t shown much interest in coming out to play. This seems like a backwards progression. I pray she is healthy and strong; happy and knows that she’s loved. Please, please be with us and help Blacky to feel better. I pray she is okay and I pray she’s healthy. Please bless her and watch over her. Please also bless this family and keep us safe and sound. Let us live a simple life.

We love you and trust in your watchful care. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With our faith and love,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

10:30 p.m. - 2018-04-30
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
More trying days. Another Squirtle has joined your heavenly gates. The thoughts eat me alive. Watching Blacky seem less interested in getting up at night also makes me so sad. Please please help me understand how to help her. Please help her to feel comfortable and please I pray she is healthy. I pray she is happy and energized. I miss watching her run around the house and getting all excited about the laser pointer. It breaks my heart.
Please watch over Blacky and mama. We love you and need you in our lives. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Blackyxo, Mamaxo and Kristinxo

2:39 p.m. - 2018-04-29
Frustration
Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
I guess you can say I've been kind of lazy and sleepy lately. I haven't spend much time praying or writing much substance. I don't want to make excuses, because you always make time for me, and I haven't done the same for you all. For that, I am really sorry.

Life has become more complicated. I worry about this family and what is happening with my nephews, Riley and Shadow. I'm worried that they will go back to living as usual and everyone will look at Robyn like nothing happened. I worry for everyone's safely. Selfishly, too, I am angry that she continues to do these things and has zero repercussions for her actions. My entire life has felt like that, like she's doing so much harm and it's 100% okay for her to do so, and this time it's endangering the lives of people I love and care about. Lately, it's been frustrating to see all of my predictions come true with people like Ryan and Robyn, and to feel like absolutely no one hears me of has been listening. It's incredibly infuriating to warn, and see no action. Yes, this is selfish. But frankly, I'm angry.

I'm also worried about Blacky. She seems quieter and like she doesn't want to play as much anymore. Please please help me be a good mom and take care of her in the best way possible. Please tell me if something is wrong. Please help us help her.

We love you, and put our faith in you. xoxoxo<3<3<3

With all our love and hope,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo, and Kristinxo

11:21 p.m. - 2018-04-28
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Please watch over this family and keep us safe. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

10:47 p.m. - 2018-04-27
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for getting me through this week and thank you for watching over this family. Please continue to watch over us and please keep mama and Blacky safe. I pray they are healthy and happy kitties. I pray they know how much we love them. Sweet dreams. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and kristinxo

7:08 p.m. - 2018-04-26
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Waking up today and remembering all of the events that happened was truly hard. I’ve had a lot of thoughts about Robyn, and honestly this is all bothering me. Where did everything go wrong? What will happen? Will she get help? Is her cat safe because I trust no one? What’s going to happen to the kids, will they go back? What happened to the sister I had when I was little? Why does she live like this?
This is so strange and a relief but not a relief at the same time. I’d be happy if I knew she didn’t have her cat at the house and knew that geoffrey and Stacey had him for example. This is a hard place to be in and a real delicate place to be. Is there a way to give me guidance?

We love you and trust in you. <3<3<3xoxoxo

All our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo, and kristinxo

9:13 p.m. - 2018-04-25
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
At this moment, I have so much anger and frustration pent up. Robyn collapsed last night and it is not clear why she did. Looks like too many pills, but we don't have the information on what pills or why. The kids were taken by DCF and with mommy and daddy, Christian and Bentley are with Chris. What a giant, heaping mess. All on the anniversary of your passing, too, Nana. There are so many emotions swirling around in my head that I just don't know what to think say or do. I'm worried about her cat being at home with her honestly too, and do not know what to do. Tonight, I ask for safety and clarity. I pray for the safety of the children and pets, and I pray that somehow everyone and every creature gets the help they deserve. This family could really use all hands on deck right now.

Please, watch over us.

We love you and need you with us. <3<3<3xoxoxo

With all our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

10:40 p.m. - 2018-04-24
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
More difficult days lay ahead. I feel anxious lately, and the anxiety isn’t going away. I guess I can’t fight these battles alone.

Please bless these kitties and keep them healthy. Please help Blacky to be a bit less skinny and please help me know how to get her moving a bit more to build some
Muscle. She doesn’t seem as happy as she can be and I’d like to do everything I can to make her feel the happiest. Same for Mama.

Please watch over this little family and give us a simple, happy life. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo

With all our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

9:33 p.m. - 2018-04-23
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
I’m growing more anxious with the passing days. Please help me get a grip on my life and please help me life a simple life with happiness. Please watch over Mama and Blacky; please bless Blacky and keep her safe and sound. I pray she and Mama and happy and very healthy. I pray they know how much they are loved, too.
Please bless this little family.
We love you and have faith in you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and hope,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo, and Kristinxo

8:02 p.m. - 2018-04-22
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
I’m a little worried about Blacky. She has seemed lethargic and sad the last few days. She also doesn’t seem to like playing much, which she needs to do to build her muscles up. Please help me understand how to help her. Please help me be a good mother and please help her to let me know what’s wrong. I’m worried she’s also too skinny. :(

Please watch over these kitties and keep them safe. Please protect them from harms way and please keep them healthy. Please watch over them. <3<3<3xoxoxo we love you and trust in you.

With all our love, hugs and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

9:34 p.m. - 2018-04-21
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Despite the headache from what I presume is sinus pressure, today was a productive day. I’m so happy to have Mama sleeping on my lap right now. I’m a little worried about Blacky. She doesn’t seem as happy and perky. Please help me understand them and be the best mother.

I pray Mama and Blacky are both happy and healthy. I pray they are well fed and feeling loved.

We love you endlessly. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith in you,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

9:40 p.m. - 2018-04-20
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for extending the harassment prevention order another year. I am so grateful to have you all here watching over us. Thank you.
We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

9:17 p.m. - 2018-04-19
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Sorry about last night. I somehow got incredibly tired. Well, I’ve been exhausted the last few days for unknown reasons. My body has been shutting down.

Thank you for watching over Lilla. We are still praying for her that she is okay and that the bumps on her lips go down, and that her liver is okay.

I also pray tonight that court goes well and that he doesn’t show up. Please. Tonight I desperately ask you to be with me, to help me renew the court order, and please don’t make him show for it.

We love you and have faith. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love, hugs and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

11:05 p.m. - 2018-04-18
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Sleep tightly . We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
Mamaxo, Blackyxo, and Kristinxo

9:18 p.m. - 2018-04-17
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Keep falling asleep quickly after work. I hope I’m not getting sick? I guess honestly it doesn’t matter if I am. I’m prepared to fall asleep at anytime and work from home anytime.
Please watch over Mama and Blacky and keep them safe and sound. Please help them to learn to get along and love one another. I also pray they are healthy and happy and know how much they are loved.

Please help me live a simple life. I love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

10:10 p.m. - 2018-04-16
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
I could recap my day, but it seems redundant and pointless tress. In my heart, something feels a bit off. Not even sure how to explain it. It’s a feeling of being slightly annoyed and not knowing why. I also feel stale. Is that a thing? Can a person feel stale? I desperately want to tell you all something insightful, yet I have no insights. Only what my head feels.
I pray that you help these kitties learn to love each other and to overcome whatever it is that keeps them from doing so. I pray they are healthy, happy kitties who know how much they are loved. I also pray you help me live a simple life so I can be with them more and focus.
We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and never ending faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

9:50 p.m. - 2018-04-15
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, and Scruffy,
My toe is killing me. Other than that, today was a great day. Thanks for giving me a free day to myself. It was nice having nowhere to go. I guess this is what I want my life to be like. Where we are right now is wonderful. Even with a partially handicapped Bebu. It’s been nice getting things super organized and ready to be functional. We’ve come so far since moving in and it’s been a journey. But right now, this is how I want the rest of my life to be in this house. Please help me continue to simplify life and break free peacefully with the weights that keep me down. Thank you.

We love you very much. <3<3<3xoxoxo please continue to watch over Mama and Blacky, and please keep them safe and healthy.

With all our undying love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo, and Kristinxo

11:43 p.m. - 2018-04-14
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for a great productive day. Thank you for giving me the courage to offer help and overcome social awkwardness to the girl whose cat snuck out today. I needed you to help me help her, and I’m so glad to have done so. Thank you.
Please continue to keep Mama and Blacky safe and sound. It scared me today to think about what would happen if I were that girl. So please, keep them safe, sound and healthy. We love you and have faith. Xoxoxo<3<3<3
All our faith, hope and love,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

10:18 p.m. - 2018-04-13
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Today we moved cubes. I have a bigger one now, but it still feels tight. I’m sure it’s just adjustment time until I get it right. Everything else went okay. I seem to think that things will get much better as we phase out all Ryan’s awful stuff or things that held the rest of us back from. The cohesiveness on the team is so much better. Thank you for a better work environment.

I pray that life gets a bit easier, or maybe simpler. I’m looking for a simple life to manage.

Please continue to watch Mama and Blacky. Please help them get along and overcome whatever keeps them from loving one another. Please also help them to be healthy and happy.

We love you very much. Sleep tightly. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

10:56 p.m. - 2018-04-12

Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thanks for getting me through the doctors appointment today. It was weird having him poke but I’m glad the bleeding has stopped at least for now. As long as it’s not serious things feel okay. So, thank you. Please continue watching over Mama and Blacky. Sometimes I worry they aren’t happy but I do pray they are. And that they know how much we love them.
Please watch over this family and keep us safe and happy. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love, hugs and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

9:35 p.m. - 2018-04-11
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for today. I felt more in control of the day and much better about everything. Things are slowly coming together. There’s still so much work to be done.

Thank you for blessing my life with Jeff and these two wonderful ladies. Coming home to them is what makes all the stresses of the day seem meaningless. I realize that even five years ago that wasn’t my mentality because I was more self absorbed with having friends and being social; now I realize how wrong that was to be. I’m sorry for my ignorance.

Please help Mama and Blacky get along. Please help them to resolve whatever it is that keeps them from loving one another so they make begin to love and appreciate each other’s company. I pray they are healthy and happy, and that little Blacky continues to adapt to her new way of life. I am so grateful for every moment with them.

We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo, and Kristinxo

10:47 p.m. - 2018-04-10
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Feeling quite overwhelmed and like there is a lot of work to do, and I’m tying to keep Grace under fire. I know I can do it, it’s a bit tough. Thanks for all your support along the way. I refuse to let Ryan leaving make anyone’s life harder. I also pray that Blacky and Mama are healthy, happy ladies. I pray they whatever keeps them from loving each other is resolved and they can learn to love one another.

We love you and appreciate all your help. <3<3<3xoxxoo
With all our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

10:13 p.m. - 2018-04-09
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for another day. I’m still worried as there was blood again when I went to the bathroom, but I’m desperately trying to move forward like it doesn’t matter and won’t slow me down. Hoping it’s nothing serious. Please continue to help Mama and Blacky get better. I pray each day they learn to get over whatever causes them to dislike eachother so they learn to love instead. I pray they are happy and healthy, and that they know how much they are loved.

We love you. Please watch over us. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

11:02 p.m. - 2018-04-08
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Just now I had a pain go through my heart thinking of the times when you all passed. I also just had blood in my stool. Can’t wait to see what that indicates. Things have felt pretty off lately so I’m hoping for the best. Please don’t make it be bad.

I would love to lead a simple life without anything bad happening for a while. I wish I could wake up, go to work and come home to a simple house with me jeff and the kitties. No troubles. No one else to answer to besides my family and his.

I also pray that Mama and Blacky love one anther and stop fighting. I pray that whatever keeps them from loving one another, is rectified so they love and appreciate one another. I pray for the help and guidance to be the best mom I can be with your help. Please be with us. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

11:30 p.m. - 2018-04-07
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Not feeling too well today again. Things were fine until this evening after waking up from a nap. Hoping it goes away. Please watch over the kitties and keep us safe. We love you very much. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love, hugs and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

10:15 p.m. - 2018-04-06
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
All the living room furniture is in the basement. All the new stuff should be arriving tomorrow, which is fine. I’m proud of how this all turned out and we are quite comfortable down here. I can’t wait to see how comfortable the new couch is and to share it with kitties. Speaking of which, please continue to watch over these ladies and keep them safe and healthy. Please help them get along and love each other, and please let them know how much we love them.
Thank you for today and for getting me through this week. We love you all so much. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love, hugs and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

10:22 p.m. - 2018-04-05
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Please continue to watch over Mama and Blacky. Please help them both be healthy, and please help them love one another and break down whatever barriers stop them from loving each other. I am so thankful and grateful for all of the help you’ve given us and them to get better. From the bottom of my heart, thank you.
Please also watch over Daddy tomorrow. He’s going to get hand surgery and I pray it goes well.
Please, also, set me free. Let me live a simple life.

We love you with all our hearts. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our faith, hope and love,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

10:53 p.m. - 2018-04-04
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for being in our lives from afar. I get to see your spirits alive in all our little animals here, and in the world around me when someone says or does something to remind me of you all. We are so blessed to have been touched by all of you.

Please continue to watch over Blacky and Mama. Please keep them safe. Please let them be healthy and continue to love one another with each moment. I pray for happiness, health and love.

We love you all <3<3<3xoxoxo

With all our faith, hope and love,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

7:51 p.m. - 2018-04-03
Phew Keep Going
Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, and Scruffy,
Work is feeling better without Ryan. Although I have infinitely more responsibility, I'm alright with it because I am not looking over my shoulder and feeling anxiety about asking questions. This has been an incredible relief. That being said, I pray that you help me get through everything and continue to power through, and power on well. I know I can do these things without him, it's just a bit more work than I had before. But, I can do it.

Please continue to watch over Mama and Blacky. I do worry about their health, naturally, because of everything that happened. I also worry that they pick on each other. Please help them to continue to get better and to love one another. You know how much I love them and how valuable their love and affection is; I pray they feel the same about one another. Please help us to continue understanding one another and please, please help me to be a better mom to them.

We love you with all of our heart. We are so grateful to have you watching over us. <3<3<3xoxoxo

With all our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo, and Blackyxo

9:45 p.m. - 2018-04-02
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for today. Even though data was coming apart at the seems, it was all fine. Itnwas nicr to see familiar faces in the development team too. I’m inceedibky happy to have him back. Thank you!!
Please watch over us and keep us safe. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

11:07 p.m. - 2018-04-01
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
What a day. Serious diarrhea, car battery is struggling to turn on, and everything I do to prepare for work was failing. Overall real struggle bus kind of day. The good part is that I got to hug and kiss mama and Blacky all day. The little moments with them were so sweet. For those, I am thankful. I’m sorry today was such a mess and I didn’t go to church. I’m terribly sorry.

I hope and pray that Mama and Blacky are healthy and happy. I pray they get along and are at peace with one another. Please help tomorrow to go well, too. I love you very much. Thank you for listening.
We love you and put our faith in you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love and hope,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

11:16 p.m. - 2018-03-31
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Stomach feels weird and off. I woke up dizzy last night so that’s likely why. Not s great feeling. Hoping it passes.

Please watch over Mama and Blacky. Please keep them safe and healthy. Please also help them get along and love each other.

We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

11:02 p.m. - 2018-03-30
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for a great day. We had so much fun today going through the webinars, and it was a lot of fun interacting with everyone. So thank you for this little respite. That said, I’m exhausted and incredibly tired.

Please keep mama and Blacky happy and healthy. They’ve been so sweet. I am looking forward to spending tomorrow with them and cuddling and napping lots.

We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo, and Blackyxo

9:36 p.m. - 2018-03-29
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Day one of webinars complete. They went well and I’m looking forward to tomorrow. Thank you for giving us the resources and enthusiasm to make it. I’m hoping for a good time tomorrow.

Please also watch over Mama and Blacky. I worry about them being 100% healthy. I pray that they are and that they are so happy and know how loved they are. I’m looking forward to the weekend to spend at home with them.

We love you and have faith. Always. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

11:16 p.m. - 2018-03-28
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for helping me get through today. The rest of this week will be a bit difficult but I am praying we all do well with the webinars. I also pray that Mama and Blacky are healthy and happy. I worry because they fight so much. Especially right now they are really chasing each other and swatting. I pray they stop trying to hurt one another and instead love. I pray they are both happy and healthy and know how much we love them.

Thank you for watching over us. We love you very much. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love, hugs and kisses always, and with our undying faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

9:59 p.m. - 2018-03-27
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for helping me get through today. I’m exhausted and tired beyond belief but things are staying afloat. Please help the kitties stay healthy and please make them stop fighting. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

10:21 p.m. - 2018-03-26
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Today was a real test of patience at work, but it seems that things will hopefully work out. Crossing my fingers. Mama and Blacky are both sleeping in the big bed with me right now. This is wonderful! I pray they stop fighting and stalking each other. I also pray they love one another, and that they are healthy. They and Jeff and this family are the best part of this world and they are my whole world. Please set me free in it to be happy. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love, faith and hope,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

10:47 p.m. - 2018-03-25
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
In a way, birthday day being over is a good thing. Today was back to normal. Mama and Blacky have not been getting along well. Tonight I pray that they overcome whatever it is that keeps them from loving one another, and that they love each other. Please. I also pray one of them sleeps with me in the bed. I miss big bed with kitties. It’s hard with my period to be in the small one since I move around so much.
Please, we pray for peace and health.
We love you very much. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our faith, hope and love,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and Kristinxo

9:31 p.m. - 2018-03-24
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, and Scruffy,
Today is my birthday. It certainly doesn’t feel it. I haven’t felt this forgotten and unspecial in a long time. Jeff and the kitties did make me feel happy, but there’s a deep sadness in my heart. The only card I got was from mommy yesterday, and only she and kelly wished me a happy birthday out of the whole family. It’s truly telling to see how few people know my birthday without Facebook to remind them, and what’s worse is even my best friends didn’t say a thing.
That tells me where they see me and where I need to direct my priorities.
Thank you for the love I feel from the kitties and Jeff. Please watch over us and take care of us. Please make mamaand Blacky stop fighting and please help them be healthy. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

9:54 p.m. - 2018-03-23
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for the nice day at home. It’s been wonderful spending time with Jeff and the kitties. Despite having to work for a bit at home, it was very relaxing and I enjoyed being home. We are so blessed to have this family. I am also touched by the card from mommy. She wrote that she remembers the day I was born as being a day of sunshine and happiness. :) thank you.

Please keep mama and Blacky safe and healthy. Please help them to get along and love one another. Please make them stop fighting and love one another.

We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love, hugs and kisses always and forever,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

9:32 p.m. - 2018-03-22
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for this week. It has been so nice not having anyone around and not having to deal with silly requests. I’m as caught up as I can be, and I’m happy to be off tomorrow as well. Thank you for this.
I pray Mama and Blacky are doing alright. They’ve both seemed a bit off, so I pray they are healthy, happy, and know they are loved. I pray they stop fighting and start loving one another. We love you so much. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love, faith and kisses,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

8:15 p.m. - 2018-03-21
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you for today. Time with the kitties at home (since everyone else didn’t go into work today) was great. I’m blessed to have the pleasure of sleeping next to them and being with them. I desperately want to make this home a paradise for us all and to be able to curl up next to a fireside with our little family all together.

I pray that the kitties love one another; no more fighting and swiping. Please help them learn to love and not fight. Please help me to be a good kitty mom- the best- to them.

Blacky just jumped into the bed with me. Please I pray, don’t make mama get mad. I pray she joins me and sleeps on my stomach and Blacky at my feet.

Also, I need a new job at a different company. Please set me free.

We love you heart and soul. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love and faith,
Mamaxo, Blackyxo and kristinxo

10:38 p.m. - 2018-03-20
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
More snow tomorrow! Honestly I don’t mind as long as I don’t have to drive in it. We will see what’s happening tomorrow morning, but if you can make the snow start before 8, that would be lovely. :) more time with kitties would be wonderful.
Please help the kitties get along and love one another. That seems like a challenge but I pray they learn to do so. They are so great I wish they’d give one another a chance. Please please help them be happy and healthy, too.
We love you heart and soul. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo, and Blackyxo

9:54 p.m. - 2018-03-19
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Tonight I am going to say something I didn’t think I ever would: I pray for Ryan. Whatever happened was hopefully a mistake and bad judgement— we all do bad things. I don’t know what he did, but I pray he learns from this and turns out to be a better person. I’m praying he deals with his insecurities and gets the help.

I pray that Mama and Blacky stop fighting. Please. Seeing Mama with another hurt eye breaks my heart. Please let them love one another. Please no more fighting.

We love you and have faith. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

10:03 p.m. - 2018-03-18
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, and Scruffy,
Thank you for today. Every day we are here is a blessing, and we are happy to be alive. Thank you for allowing me the time with kitties and thank you for the weekend off. This week is going to be all weird and different, but I’m excited to see what’s next without Ryan. We are going to be just fine without him.
Please continue to watch over the kitties. Please help Blacky and Mama to be healthy and happy, and please help them love one another. Please help me to be a great kitty mom and know what to do.

We love you and are thankful. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

10:18 p.m. - 2018-03-17
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, and Scruffy,
Today was a productive day. Sometimes I think I keep cleaning and organize to keep my mind off things that are happening around me, but at least the house is getting more organized. Thanks for giving me time at home with the kitties. They are such therapy to me and being around them makes me feel at peace. Thank you.
Please keep them happy, healthy and civil toward one another. Please help Mama and Blacky stop fighting and stalking one another and please help them to know how loved they are. We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo

With all our love, hugs and kisses and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo, and Blackyxo

10:26 p.m. - 2018-03-16
Ryan is Gone
Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy,
Thank you. Today Ryan was fired for reasons unknown, other than he was being unethical. The loss prevention person told our boss that Ryan doesn’t have a moral compass, so that has to be bad. I’m glad that stress has been taken care of. Taking on and dealing with the stuff he does is going to be hard, but I’m ready for a challenge as long as it’s without him. This is a real miracle.

Please continue to watch over these little ladies and help them grow to love one another. Please, no fighting. Please help Blacky and Mama be healthy, happy kitties and please help me to be the best kitty mom possible. Thank you.

We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love, faith and hope,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo, and Blackyxo

10:04 p.m. - 2018-03-15
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, and Scruffy,
Thank you for today. I realize that I’m not good at pressure and I failed at my vow to be more positive this Lenten season. I’m sorry. I wasn’t even thinking of that. What a real failure.

Please keep mama and Blacky loving one another. Please make them stop swiping one another and causing fights. Please help them to be healthy and most of all, know they are loved.

We love you. Sleep tightly. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love, faith and hugs,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo, and Blackyxo

9:49 p.m. - 2018-03-14
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, and Scruffy and Saint Francis,
Thank you for today. I’m struggling a lot with identity and self doubt lately, but even still, today felt productive. Please help me feel good about myself with each coming day, and please help me be brave.

Please help Blacky continue to get better. She’s been doing well it seems so we are happy with her. Please help her and mama calm down a bit and stop hurting one another. That would be ideal. I worry when I’m not here what happens. Please watch over them and keep them safe.

We love you very much and miss you here. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love, hugs and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo, and Blackyxo

9:36 p.m. - 2018-03-13
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
We miss you Justin. When I close my eyes, it doesn’t seem that long ago. You are great and a real piece of sunshine gone from this earth. I miss you buddy. So much.
Please continue to watch over this family and keep us safe. Please help Mama and Blacky learn to get along and to love one another. Mama got hit in the eye again, and I’m sure it was over nothing. Please make it stop. Please help them get along and stop fighting and hurting one another.
We love you. Thank you for keeping us safe today through the storm. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

9:36 p.m. - 2018-03-13
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
We miss you Justin. When I close my eyes, it doesn’t seem that long ago. You are great and a real piece of sunshine gone from this earth. I miss you buddy. So much.
Please continue to watch over this family and keep us safe. Please help Mama and Blacky learn to get along and to love one another. Mama got hit in the eye again, and I’m sure it was over nothing. Please make it stop. Please help them get along and stop fighting and hurting one another.
We love you. Thank you for keeping us safe today through the storm. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo and Blackyxo

11:18 p.m. - 2018-03-12
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle and Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Thank you for the snow day tomorrow. Please bless everyone who has to drive in it and please keep Jeff safe. He has to open tomorrow; I pray tonight he gets to work safely and comes home safely. It's so scary.
Please keep our little families safe and warm tomorrow, too, and please help Mama and Blacky feel cozy and loved. Thanks for letting me work from home.
We love you. And Justin, sometimes I feel like you're doing this because you can. :) <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo, and Blackyxo

10:05 p.m. - 2018-03-11
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Do you have those days where you feel like everything you do is wrong? Every day feels like that to me lately. At work, and home, everything. The worst part is that I know I"m the problem most of the time. Maybe I'm just not as good as I thought I was at some point. There's no day that does by when I feel like I've made everyone happy. To top it off, Justin, this was the time years ago when you were passing away. This is a hard and difficult month as it is, and losing you was incredibly hard. I miss you so much buddy, Everything you stood for ... I miss. I miss your humor and the way you always made me smile on the stormiest of days.

Blacky and Mama are getting along today, but I fear tomorrow they will not. Please help us sleep through the night and get along. Please help them love one another. Please help Blacky continue to get better, and please help her be okay. I worry about her, and mama. We need some peace and happiness.

We love you so much and we miss you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
All our love, hugs and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo, and Blackyxo

9:36 p.m. - 2018-03-10
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Every day we have is a gift. Being away from work and not having to deal with the back handed comments of ryan is a gift. Some day, I'll be bigger and better. Someday I won't wake up wondering why I do anything and won't feel like a failure. Some day.

Please keep helping little Blacky find her footing. She's been so good and adventurous lately; it brings happiness to our hearts. Thank you. Please keep her and Mama happy, healthy, and please keep them civil to one another.

We love you and are blessed to have a wonderful little family. <3<3<3xoxoxo

All our love, hugs and kisses always and forever, and with all our faith,
Kristin, Mama and Blackyxo

10:13 p.m. - 2018-03-09
I'd like to turn the training over to you.
Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, Scruffy and Saint Francis,
What a day. First day back after the snow days, and Ryan has been unbelievable again. He told me today he thinks he's going to have me do the Yeti training, even though I'm already working on 5 other modules. Then they told me that because I can't access the data I need for my job, it's all my fault. I'm so tired of this. Disgusted is a better word. Outraged. And I'm tired of this being the norm. I need to go into working for myself. He's miserable and I've tried so hard to get along that I'm losing my mind.

Kitties are up and about today, which makes me happy. I'd appreciate time to sleep through the night tonight, though, if you can help with keeping them quiet and loving one another. Please. :)

We love you. Sleep tightly. <3<3<3xoxoxo

All our love, hugs and faith,
Kristin, Mama and Blackyxo

10:46 p.m. - 2018-03-08
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Thank you for allowing me to be home today. I appreciate the time at home with kitties and all the happy moments we had together. Thank you for the company of Jeff all day, and for allowing us to be safe here. We have so much to be greatful for.

Please help Blacky continue to grow healthier and stronger each day. I pray she finds her balance and eats plenty to gain her strength. I also pray that mama and Blacky love one another and learn to stop fighting. I thank you so much for each moment we have with them.

Please watch over us and keep us safely here, and please help both kitties to know how much we love them. <3<3<3xoxoxo

With all our love, hugs and faith,
Kristin, Mama and Blackyxo

9:40 p.m. - 2018-03-07
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Thank you for today. The snow is really coming down but it's quite pretty out. I even got to take a bubble bath. Best part of the day: spending all day with the kitties. Thank you for the time together with them. It's been so wonderful seeing them. I should go out there now and start to shovel but I truly don't want to. However I must. Please let Jeff get home safely.
Please watch over and bless the kitties. Please help them eat healthy, be healthy and happy, and please help them to get along and love one another. We love you very much and are grateful for your love and care. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love, hope and faith,
Kristin, Mama and Blackyxo

10:17 p.m. - 2018-03-06
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, and Scruffy and Saint Francis,
Today I feel completely useless and unwanted. Being on this team working at the home office I realize absolutely no one listens to what I think or say, or trusts. I feel like any thought or idea I have is either unheard or discounted, and that was upsetting. I feel completely miserable right now and have most of the day. It's frustrating being on this team or maybe it's the company. I don't know anymore. The line is blurred. Is that what every place is like or are egos this large in all places? Either way, I'm at an impasse.

Please keep Blacky moving forward with getting healthier and confident. I really miss having her in the bed with me at night, so if you can nudge her to do so tonight, it would be greatly appreciated. Here come the water works. The more I think about this job the more I loathe it. The angrier i get. And I'm upset that things aren't happy. I miss Blacky being with me in here and I know that shouldn't upset me but it does selfishly because I need her here to pet and look at and to think I did something right for once.

I'm a mess and so is my life.

Please forgive my bitterness.

We lovenyou and need you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Kristinxo, Mamaxo, and Blackyxo

9:39 p.m. - 2018-03-05
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, Scruffy and Saint Francis,
It's been kind of weird lately. No one seems to want to sleep in the bed with me. Blacky seems restless. Mama keeps stalking Blacky. It's getting a bit out of hand. Please help us make this a calm and collected household. I pray that Blacky gets over her fears and continues to find her balance. I pray she is a healthy lady who wants to continue getting better. I pray Mama stops stalking her and that they love one another. I pray for so much. Most of all I pray they are happy. Please grant us this prayer tonight in the name of Saint Francis.
We love you. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love and faith,
Kristin, Mama and Blacky<3xo

10:44 p.m. - 2018-03-04
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Thank you for today. We had a nice day together, and it was quite nice. I did a lot around the house, which always feels nice. So, I thank you. Please continue to help Mama and Blacky be healthy, and please help them to get along, It's hard leaving them after being home the last few days, but I am hoping that with all of you watching out for them, they will be okay. Please? They need the help, so can you please help them to get along and seek peace tomorrow? Thank you.

The week will be hard, not being here. I pray for the confidence to get through, and for the poise to be the bigger person. I pray to be the best I can be as a kitty mom, and the best employee and wife. Thank you for helping me through the dark days, and for being with us every moment, every step of the day. We love you, truly and deeply. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love, hugs and undying faith,
Kristin, Mama and Blacky <3xo

9:11 p.m. - 2018-03-03
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Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
I realize that locking Blacky in the room last week to protect her from Mama might have created an aversion to the room. She does t seem to want to go near the bedroom or have anything to do with it. This is miserable. I miss sleeping in the bed with her, but having her on the couch is fine. It scares me when I'm not home though, that she won't be safe. Please help me help her work through this aversion and get through it. Please help me understand these cats, and help me know what to do so they are both safe when I'm not home.

I'm also very proud of Jeff for making presidents club for all the work he did in Norwood, but I'm going to miss him terribly when he's gone in Costa Rica in May. Usually the spouse can go, but I can't leave these kitties alone. They need me with them. I'd be so lost without them and they'd be lost without me. We all need each other. I'm going to be so lonely without him.

This is the kind of day where I realize I've lost my mind. I'm not like everyone else, not even close. There's in fact virtually nothing normal about me. I care so much about these cats, I hate being in the public, I want to not work and just be a house wife and maybe volunteer at a place like a library part time. Can you please help me figure out how to be happy and make these dreams come true? I'm feeling so lost.

Please help Mama and Blacky get along and learn to love one another. Please help Blacky to return to the bedroom bed and not be afraid of it. Please help them both be happy and healthy. Please bless them and this little family.

We love you and have faith. <3<3<3xoxoxo
With all our love, hugs and faith,
Kristin, Mama and Blackyxo

9:42 p.m. - 2018-03-02
Bad Weather!
Dear Lucky, Funstuff, Nana and Katie, Justin, Squirtle, Scruffy, and Saint Francis,
Thank you so much. Yesterday and today have been really great. I've loved every minute of being home with the kitties, and not seeing the work people has been great. To be honest, I don't miss them at all. I wish I could work from home more often. Being there once a week would be good enough to see people face to face. Other than that, I'm fine without. Blacky has been adventurous where she sleeps, and she's been running around a bit more here and there. Seeing her be more like herself has brought so much happiness and joy to our lives. Thank you for all the time and effort you have all dedicated to making this happen, and thank you from the bottom of our hearts for watching over us each day. Mama and Blacky are grateful, as are we.
Thank you for blessing us with a cozy home that is protecting us from th